Age crisis

I feel so old.

I feel like my whole body is giving up. Giving in. Whatever you call it these days.

I feel like my mind is getting tired as well. Not that I am losing intelligence (not noticeably anyway), but I don't feel like doing anything.

"Nothing's fun. Nothing's good."

...as I put it yesterday in a moment of despair when I was on the phone with Sarah.

Nothing IS fun.
Nothing IS good.

Whatever I can think of doing, I don't WANT to do.
I don't WANT to do anything, but I want not to be bored..

*sigh*

I want to just be, like I used to be..just sit there and be..
What happened to me?