What I feel like?

I feel like I just want to lie down next to someone, and just be.
I have probably written this soooo many times before.
But I just have to say it one more time. Because I think the fact that I DON'T have someone to lie down next to, and just be, is the reason why I feel bored so often nowadays.

I just want someone to hold, you know. Even a cold-hearted Swede sometimes need to show some affection. AND NO, NOT LIKE THAT. But just feel intimate with someone by talking about stuff you never tell anyone else, holding his hand (yeah, a guy, I still haven't turned gay, even if I DID intend to start playing rugby ;) ), looking into his eyes, not wanting the moment to end.

And now, I'm just sitting here, unable to sleep, because my fr-king knee is killing my opportunity to be a professional rugby player (*lol*), with a PhD sloooowly progressing, so slowly that it makes me frustrated (but that's the way it is), in the knowledge that I have some REALLY GOOD FRIENDS (I won't forget that), but all I really really REALLYL want is a hand to hold. That I want to hold (but don't necessarily WILL hold) every day, 24 h a day. But there is noone. Not anymore..right?