I can't do it

I can't do it.
I can't have a normal friendship.
I don't want you to know how I'm feeling all the time.
I don't want you to see my dark side.
I don't want you to know what boy I like.
I don't want you to be able to make jokes about me in front of others just to tease me, even though we are the only ones that know.
I don't want to be vulnerable.

Yet again, I try.
And I fail.
And I cry alone in my room.

I can't do this.