I've had so many chances

I have had so many chances to tell you. But I never seem to use them. I go half-way, make a full stop, turn around and say something mean (though funny) instead.

And I get a laugh for it. But I'd rather have a hug.

I just want to walk up to you and ask you to hold me. But I just can't bring myself to ask you that. To put myself out there.

I just want to say what I have been thinking of since April this year, but I don't know what it would change. Probably only change your view of me. Thinking that I am pathetic. And I would probably rather stay that "perfect" with a reserved streak in me, than be a pathetic loving person.

I really don't want to be pathetic.

I wrote a song today.
It probably s-cks ass like the rest of them.