Lonesome

I wouldn't say I have never felt this lonely before, because I have.
But I haven't felt this lonely in a long time.
So misunderstood, like a freak, like nobody around me shares anything with me. Like I am an outsider to everyone. Like I just wasn't made for this specific world.

So, what world would that be? It would be a world where people don't start making out with eachother randomly and pretend to forget. Where people are just not responsible and just do shit in the spur of the moment.

Where people don't forget that you are in the room after claiming that you are the best friend they have ever had.

Where a guy you like never turns back into that frog again and again, and you don't have to be aware of the fact that it's just YOU that's changing your view of him, it's not his fault.

Where people don't kill themselves or want to kill themselves, and you don't have to deal with their emotional outbursts that you can't really do anything about.

Where you don't long to go home to mum and dad, and the rest of your country folk, because they simply are more like you than everyone else in the place you happen to be in.

Where you wish you had gone to that funeral and just cried your heart out, instead of prolonging the mourning on an atomical level. Where you are not in shock for several weeks and spread out the tears.

Where you don't listen to the same song over and over again just to make yourself start crying.

Where you don't have to blame it on the new shampoo when your eyes are foggy.

Where life is never ugly, just more or less pretty.